I fear...

I'm more scared now than I have ever been in my life. I always thought my worst fear was that of the dark, that primal fear of what might be lurking out there in the shadows of the trees, the fear of that beast ready to kill. Yet I now know my greatest fear is far more abstract.
It is a fear of life itself.
The ever changing and short existence we can count the seconds of.
I fear the change and the responsibility. I fear the strange and unusual things I will be met with. And so I wish to avoid them though I know they are inevitable. I cannot change what has happened to make me feel better and I cannot know what might happen to calm me down.
All I can do is hope and act as if it will turn out alright.
So, I turn around and hide and hope no one sees me.
I fear being average but I hate standing out.
I don't want to be seen but I want everyone to know I exist.
I don't want to change but change is all I can do.